Texwiz:

Sluts are usually of high school or college age. This lady is a cougar.

They are very highly valued by young men looking for some valuable life experience and by older men who are not having much luck with the sluts.

I for one object to the letter writers uneasy grasp of the vocabulary. Words matter, lets not throw them around willy nilly, like, oh I don't know, like spare vaginas.

Give me a freakin break. Anyone who thinks parenting is thankless either raised the kids they deserve or doesn't deserve the kids they raised.

Uh, no offense or anything.

That's a really good point. Come to think of it, I do tire very easily of the "parent as martyr" trope.

You know, it's true, you probably make more personal sacrifices for your children than for anything else, but if you're attitude is on straight, you don't view them as choices, but as the natural course of action for a parent.

The rewards are generally commensurate with the effort.

The sad part is, that some folks do get thankless, selfish kids, but it's often because they confused spinelessly giving in to their child's every whim with making sacrifices of substance. What they likely view as "sacrifices" were actually made in thrall to their own convenience, because it was easier to give in than to stand up and be the parent.

The irony is, in the long run, they made so much more work for themselves.

Isonomist:

Anyone who thinks parenting is thankless either raised the kids they deserve or doesn't deserve the kids they raised.

He certainly didn't appreciate it at the time, either! :)

TruettCollins:

Just one more example of why motherhood is not what it use to be. There was a time when the children came FIRST.....not a distant second to a womans personal indulgences.

That's complete bull. Learn some history. June Cleaver is not a real person. The idea that there was some "ideal" time in the past where women spent 24/7 thinking about and doing things exclusively for their spouse and children is simply absurd.

TruettCollins:

Just one more example of why motherhood is not what it use to be. There was a time when the children came FIRST.....not a distant second to a womans personal indulgences.

It's not about "coming first" or "coming second"... should they be your main priority? yes, of course. should you prioritize them to the exclusion of everything else in your life? well, that doesn't sound terribly healthy to me. and quite frankly, if you raise your children like the entire world revolves around them, they're likely to have that same attitude as adults.

glutton79:

It's not about "coming first" or "coming second"... should they be your main priority? yes, of course. should you prioritize them to the exclusion of everything else in your life? well, that doesn't sound terribly healthy to me. and quite frankly, if you raise your children like the entire world revolves around them, they're likely to have that same attitude as adults.

Thank you for saying that. I just couldn't muster up the energy to argue with yet another ridiculous statement.

Good Lord, going out for a couple of nights while your kids stay with Grandma is not exactly the same as locking them in a closet and feeding them dog food while you fornicate with the poolboy and do meth.

It seems to me that this goes beyond just a moralistic and judgmental view of proper parenting. It seems to be predicated on some notion that once a woman has kids, she stops being a woman and must now be only a mommy. It's pretty misogynistic and sad, actually.

BTW, no one has commented on the husband, who presumably sat on his ass at home with a remote control and a beer bong. I mean, I'm projecting, but that's more or less what I would do. Actually, I'm lying. I'd go to a bar and knock back some Crown and sodas. Apparently, I too am morally deficient.

Only to those who see themselves as the center of the universe and above all. Do you ever perform a selfless act……doubtful.

Who said that the world revolves around them. Seems you are reading more there than was said. What kind of example is this woman setting for her children, coming in drunk at all hours? I deal with teens that have had this example every day. Then when the parents are drug out of a bar somewhere they are screaming at the kids and asking where they get off getting drunk and driving……

Once a woman puts herself at the center of the universe over her children she stops being a true woman and becomes a self centered example of what not to be. We just airlifted what remained of a child that was raised in a family where mom kept dumping her off on grandma so she could go party and get drunk. I will never forget the mother standing there and screaming that she could not understand why her daughter would be driving drunk…….seems the mother herself has 5 DWI’s on her record, but yells I keep telling her not to drink, but then KIDS WATCH WHAT YOU DO AND IT SPEAKS MUCH LOUDER THAN WHAT YOU SAY.

uh, the point is, no one should be at the "center of the universe", not the mother or the children. the goal is to make your children your priority, without completely forgetting that you're still an individual person who sometimes needs time to herself.

and stop assuming that everyone who occasionally goes out with their friends is behaving like the drunken hooligans you're apparently used to dealing with.

TruettCollins:

Only to those who see themselves as the center of the universe and above all.

My view of my place in the universe has nothing to do with history. The vision people have of a June Cleaver-esque time period simply isn't real. All it takes is looking at some socialogical studies.

No matter how selfless a person is, it is impossible for them to be selfless 24/7. Nor do I think that is healthy.

TruettCollins:

Do you ever perform a selfless act……doubtful.

Certainly I do. Not that my selfishness or selflessness is relevant in this discussion.

TruettCollins:

What kind of example is this woman setting for her children, coming in drunk at all hours? I deal with teens that have had this example every day.

The key point phrase here is, "every day". Presumably the LW's daughter isn't doing this every day or the LW would have mentioned it. Going out once in a while when a reliable adult is available to watch the children is not a problem. Most adults do this and don't raise children who are raging alcoholics.