Well, my husband has no sense of rhythm and does not often dance, so the chance of me seeing him dancing with another girl is pretty slim.

However, when we go out to clubs together, yes, I still dance with other men, other women, and all by my lonesome. My husband is perfectly happy to enjoy a drink, watch the pretty girls dance, and maybe strike up a conversation with one of them. He is perfectly up front about being married, and so am I. He is perfectly capable of buying someone a drink without betraying his marriage vows.

I find it flattering when some little hottie hits on my husband; she is right, he is damn cute, and he's all mine.

Where did you get this image of me reeling drunk out in the parking lot, being raped by some guy who slipped me a mickey? I was pretty clear about going out "with the girls" in a GROUP. Only a moron would go out alone and get hammered in a bar surrounded by strangers. That is asking for trouble. We go out in groups, with at least one sober member, and the full knowlege and consent of our SOs.

Sheesh, people. Do you slap your man if he looks at some college girls in daisy dukes? It's disrespectful for him not to pretend you are the only woman in the world, you know.

Freki

PS Huge rock? I wear a $1.25 hematite band, thanks.

PugglePop:

I imagine you have witnessed someone behaving or speaking in such a manner that you were embarrassed for them.

I stopped being emotionally responsible for other people's actions years ago. It's entirely too stressful, especially if you worry about random strangers. There are a lot of random strangers.

PugglePop:

Try to be a bit less obtuse and argumentative and try to grasp the actual message being conveyed, yeah.

It's called the "Fray" because we argue. It would be extremely boring if we all sat around agreeing with each other. I simply take exception to your idea that there is a well defined "proper" way to act and a well defined "proper" line that a person in a relationship shouldn't cross.

You seem to be obsessed with playing devil's advocate, which send the message that you have no actual opinion.

Besides, you totally missed the question.

Where I live, it's the women with honking rocks you see acting a fool. Also, I was not the one referencing the potential for rape, it hadn't even occurred to me.:) In fact, I'm the one who points out the hotties in daisy dukes to the hub.

For me, I just don't see how someone who is happily married can justify having other men buy drinks for them, flirting (other than casually like friends), or dancing with them. It's not in my realm. My husband does not buy drinks for women he does not know nor does he dance with them. We just agree that's past our personal line of what we find respectful.

But, you did answer the question I asked instead of pussyfoot around it.:) thank you. I've just known far too many stupid c**ts who act like trash when their man isn't around, but flip out if they catch him behaving like they do when he's not around. Disrespectful double standard, you know. One can not behave a certain way and demand the partner does not behave in kind.

PugglePop:

You seem to be obsessed with playing devil's advocate, which send the message that you have no actual opinion.

I do have an opinion in this matter, and it hasn't changed. I have no patience for people who believe there is one right way, whether it is with regards to religion, relationships, behavior, clothing, judo, child-rearing, bowling, or the construction of ferret toys. The world is not black and white.

Thus far, your arguement seems to be that people in a committed relationship shouldn't flirt with anyone else because it embarasses you since you would not do so. You then assumed that people who act like this are hypocrits who would fly off the handle if their SO acted in a similar manner.

PugglePop:

Besides, you totally missed the question.

I answered the first question you asked. I would not have a problem with my husband flirting with other girls. I have been known to flirt with other people. My husband does not mind.

Had you simply stuck with your question and not started implying that there was one right way, I would have had patience for the rest of your posts. As a newbie, you don't have any money in my earned patience bank and so I responded.

PhysicsGirl:

Had you simply stuck with your question and not started implying that there was one right way, I would have had patience for the rest of your posts. As a newbie, you don't have any money in my earned patience bank and so I responded.

Actually, I'm NOT a newbie and how cuntish of you to be rude and vile to someone you thought as a newbie. And for your information, I have witnessed far too many women losing their composure when they see their man doing the same thing they do when he's not around.

PG, what you are saying, because your are ok with married people to flirt, it is ok, but it isn't ok that we think it is not ok?

dumb_blonde:

PG, what you are saying, because your are ok with married people to flirt, it is ok, but it isn't ok that we think it is not ok?

I'm saying that the state of OKness isn't set in stone. For one person a given action may be OK. For another, it may not be. That doesn't make the action inherently OK or not OK.

Basically the fact that it is OK with me, doesn't mean it has to be OK with you or that the fact that it is not OK with you means that it has to also not be OK with me.

PugglePop:

Actually, I'm NOT a newbie

I haven't seen your ID here at the DP board before.

PugglePop:

and how cuntish of you to be rude and vile to someone you thought as a newbie.

I was neither rude nor vile. The "newbie" point was that I will have more patience with someone I know is a reasonable person IF they express an unreasonable opinion. My prior knowledge of their usual behavior and patterns of thought influences how I feel. Someone whom I've never seen before who expresses a stupid opinion doesn't get this benefit of the doubt. It's human nature.

But of course, you read it differently since you've already gotten angry enough with me since I disagree with your opinion to resort to juvenile namecalling. This does indicate to me that my initial opinion of your ability to think in a rational manner was correct.

PugglePop:

And for your information, I have witnessed far too many women losing their composure when they see their man doing the same thing they do when he's not around.

So? That doesn't mean that all women do so. Most mature people realize that what is good for the goose is also good for the gander, and so they aren't hypocrits. Perhaps your circle of friends isn't so enlightened.

Hey, how come I get "c*nt" and she gets the unexpurgated version?

In any case, I have found that the women and men who are most angry and jealous of their SOs are the ones who are in fact most likely to cheat.

I do take issue with your OP, though. You said dancing with strange men was "debasing", behaving like "common trailer trash", and that a husband should expect his wife to behave like a lady at all times.

I am happy to say I have lived in shitty trailers in several different countries, I don't feel in the least debased, and I am not and have never been a "lady".

I should ask my husband...would he like me to stop dancing with strange men, if it meant I had to give up other "unladylike" practices, like gloating after kicking his ass at Mortal Kombat, catching garter snakes, poker, gutting fish, and belching? I think he would say we were both getting a raw deal.

Freki

PS I am pretty sure blowjobs are unladylike, too.

Freki:

In any case, I have found that the women and men who are most angry and jealous of their SOs are the ones who are in fact most likely to cheat.

I would have to agree. The reason they tend to be jealous and angry is that they know what they would do in that situation....

Freki:

PS I am pretty sure blowjobs are unladylike, too.

Probably. Or at least that is what one crazy troll on the yahoo news messege boards tried to tell everyone. She had this idea that a true lady only wanted to have sex in the missionary position, woman on bottom. It was pretty amusing.

Probably. Or at least that is what one crazy troll on the yahoo news messege boards tried to tell everyone. She had this idea that a true lady only wanted to have sex in the missionary position, woman on bottom. It was pretty amusing.

Well, she's right. Fuckin' cowgirl style under the dinner table while the dog and cat watch is not ladylike in the least. It sure beats missionary in the dark, though.

Freki

I recall a club party I went to once. A woman there handed me her husband's leash and asked me to walk him for a while.

But he didn't but me any drinks, and I didn't dance with him, so it was very ladylike, really. I don't think we were flirting, what with him being blindfolded and all.

The couple seemed quite happy, too.

Its the buying drinks thing that I just keep circling back to. At least around here, when you accept a drink from a guy that is a clear signal that you are interested in taking things further. Maybe that means allowing him to ask you out, maybe that means a blowjob in the bathroom, but it sure the heck doesn't mean 'oh yeah, spend your money on me so I can get happy and go back to my hubby'. So just the act of accepting the drink is pretty trashy in my eyes.

Now, before some of the people get all crazy, I don't mean that accepting a drink obligates you to anything. But I'm apartment hunting now. Don't you all think it would be a bit bitchy of me to call up somebody and ask them to show me an apartment I have no intention of renting? You don't take up resources if you know from the start that you are not intending on even considering giving something in return.

You have a point, in some scenarios. If I let/encouraged a stranger to buy me drink after drink and only THEN let him know I was unavailable, it would be bad form.

However, as I think I have pointed out, my friends and I are very up front about being married/in a relationship. If, after we have made our unavailability crystal clear, the guy still wants to buy us a drink, more power to him. He is either enjoying our company, or thinks a little more panty remover will do the trick. In the first case, he is a gentleman, and we do our best to be charming and fun enough to be worth spending money on. In the second case, he is a boor, and we will happily soak him for a round of Jameson's.

Freki