I heard your problem described perfectly today by a total stranger. She said there are people that like it and people that don't get it. Maybe you just expected too much; since "absurdly comedic" isn't always a bad thing in my opinion. I'd bet you don't like Robin Williams or Jim Carrey, either.
I thought Collin Firth was fairly believable as a middle-aged flamer, and even though I couldn't fantasize about ending up with him (my imagination is not that great and I'm straight) it was fun to see him with the younger cute gay man after the wedding.