• Always make the child say they are sorry for_____, and say that if they continue to do that they will go back in time-out.
• Once a day is plenty, even once every two or three days. If it becomes commonplace it loses its sting.
• The time is based on age - 2 y.o.s get 2 min, 3 y.o.s get 3 minutes, etc.
• Never use it when the child is acting out because they are over-tired or over-hungry. It won't work because hunger and sleep deprivation trumps everything.

All you detractors who don't think it works probably haven't tried it, or tried it correctly. It's a very good way to teach circumstances to actions, and allows everyone to take a step back from fighting and aggression.

OTOH, it doesn't work the same for every child. It really worked on my first. She could think of nothing worse than being isolated for minutes at a time. And it really helped her know right from from wrong. MY second is a little more wild, and taking away privileges works better for her. She'll just brood in time-out and not be sorry afterwards, but if we take away a favorite toy (a toy time-out!) that really hurts.

I have a newsflash for you. Your kids are never sorry. They are only sorry they got caught. They are children. They don't have the same sense of moral development and responsibility that adults have. They are by nature completely self centered and immature. You can't talk to them and appeal to their consciences the way you can an adult. What they do understand are consequences. There is nothing your children do that couldn't be solved by some mild corporal punishment. Yes corporal punishment. People raised well behaved children and children who were fully functional adults by the time they were 16 for thousands of years. It is not rocket science. They just need rules and consequences and be made to understand that the rules and the world doesn't care if they like it or if they are unhappy or if it affects their self esteem or anything else. All that matters is that they behave and meet expectations and when they don't there are consequences.

We have always enforced apologizing along with forgiveness from the party that was harmed/feelings hurt during the incident that led to the need for reprimanding. We have done this since our boys were barely able to speak, accompanied with hugs. I agree that children are rarely truly sorry for their actions at the time it takes place. Making them apologize helps to build up their awareness of right and wrong as well as how to communicate effectively with other people. And I do believe they are sorry when they realize how their actions impacted another person. I have witnessed true sympathy coming from those mouths when you help them to see the other side of the situation.

God, how old are you? Did you have to walk to school uphill both ways in the snow without shoes too?

The only reason kids respond to spanking is fear. They are afraid of you. You may not care about that, but I can't imagine being that kind of parent. I can get them to do what I want without resorting to instilling fear (of me) in them.

And if you say that kids aren't sorry than why hit them? If you have to hit them more than once for the same thing, then it didn't work. They aren't sorry, they didn't change their behavior, and now they think you're an ogre. Nice work.

Newsflash, the way they raised their kids for a thousand years is of no importance to how to raise kids in the 2000's. I don't use an abacus or a sexton anymore either. Times change and we learn better way to do things.

You might not use a sexton now, but when you die, unless you are cremated and scattered or placed in a wall niche, you'll be using a sexton. :-)

Well, that is the plan...

Of course, the point being we have better understanding now of a lot of things and better tools to deal with all sorts of problems encountered in everyday life.

I could use my abacus to balance my checkbook, but I'd rather Quicken. I could use spanking and corporeal punishment, but I'd rather use something more reasonable to accomplish the same thing.

I agree with one previous poster: children are rarely ever sorry they did something; they are sorry they got caught, or have had to come to terms with consequences. Don't force your kids to apologize.

I agree with the one minute per year rule

Spanking, when done properly, can be effective. Don't spank or do timeouts in anger. and for whoever said that if you need to spank more than once per offense, the child didn't learn, needs a wake up call. Whatever your method of discipline, children rarely get the message the 1st time, unless it truly scares them - like the 1st time they got burned. I know I've had to use time outs and priveledge take-aways more than once for the same crime, kids need repetition to burn things in their brain.

The article wasn't bad, but I dont' think it really reckogyzes that different methods work for different families, and even different children. Of my three cousins (all girls) the eldest responded best to immediate spankings. timeouts did little; she liked being alone. the middle child was unfazed by spankings; time outs worked much better with her, as with the youngest who hates being left alone. I was, for the most part, a spanked child, especially when I was younger. Also got time-outs. As I got older, both happened less and my parents went more towards taking away priveldges. I think any parent just has to learn and grow with their kids and see what works best.

I think it's important to teach children to apologize when they're young. Of course the don't 'mean it'. How often in your adult life to you actually 'mean it'? Sometimes, not always. However, it's important to instill the cultural value and the practice of apologizing. More importantly, feeling guilt and remorse isn't instinctual, it's learned. Where else will children learn it, how else will they learn to feel guilt, shame and remorse unless it's when they're young?