This guy has no idea what makes a great beer. I'm surprised even flavor made the list (although at number one, there may be hope). Basically beers can be judged by many criteria but the usual ones are color, clarity, aroma, carbonation (including head and size of bubbles), taste and alcohol by volume (%ABV) as well as style of beer (stout porter etc). You can also break down taste into several different catagories if you want to (aftertaste, bitterness, hops, etc) but these form the fundamental criteria for evaluation. Now the balance of each component is weighted differently for each style of beer and, quite frankly, for the personal tastes of each drinker. This is what makes beer great, there are a million interesting variations and so many quality beers brewed in different countries and different fashions that there is certainly something for everyone to enjoy.

So why the heck would anyone want to drink only cheap light domestic lager like the author seems to? Not only is this beer generally considered crap, by any standard, but it all tastes exactly the same. Also who cares about the commercial? Learn about beer the old fashioned way...by tasting several and finding ones you like. Would you pick a wine based on wine commercials? Of course not...although wine has its own douchebaggery attached to it, at least there are many great wines available in stores. Not so with beer..idiots like the author here are driving out high quality imports (and domestics) by choosing beer based on the packaging. Holy moly...what a mistake! Now every beer store has Bud and Miller, regular and light (read: diet...thats right you dopes are drinking a DIET beer, WTH) but good luck finding a great beer like Bodingtons, Chimay or Celebrator (yes ppl sadly gay Euro name = extremely good beer while strong American name = weak urine tasting beer...theres some kind of compensation mechanism there). I'm not saying light domestics dont have their place. I'd drink Bud at a ballgame, or Natural Light if it was in a cup with a ping pong ball in it. But most of the time if I want to relax with one beer, or get crunked on ten beers, i want something thats quality. Better taste, better buzz, fewer side effects (no hangover, "bud mud" etc).

Fortunately i live in Boston where we aren't all tasteless shmucks. Our beers are thick, our stores have variety and our pints come as actual pints not 12 oz sissy-cups. Like every other blogger on earth, i urge you all to be like me.

Dude25...you are my hero. It's good to know that there are actually people out there who know what the hell they're doing when it comes to beer.

My general rule of thumb is to not drink anything that needs to have television and/or radio commercials to advertise itself, and to not drink anything that is available in a can. Although, there are several exceptions to these rules, of course. I enjoy Sam Adams when there's nothing else around, and Boddington's is also a great choice.

I once had someone tell me I should drink Heineken because it would "put hair on my chest". I laughed in his face. Am I a beer snob? You bet!

"i urge you all to be like me"

Typical chowder head. I think the author was trying to relay his thoughts to the average customer who drink the type of beers you see in most liquor stores and restraunts. For you beer dorks, certainly this article will not do but if you were looking for more depth on the subject why the f%$k are you reading a one column article? Of course there are better more deserving beers, thats not the point of this here article. When you see a comparison between Toyota and Ford you dont call them a$$holes because they didnt want to talk Ferrari and Porsche. wtf, get back in your boat and find me some lobsters.

An invitation to beer snobs:

You are invited to get in your BMWs and drive south until you reach a place where it's ninety-nine degrees, and humid as a dog's breath, for the fourth straight day. Stop there, get out, and mow grass for three hours. Then pop open a refined Bodingtons, and feel how that lovely hops finish lies on your tongue like the shit from the vacuum-cleaner bag.

I'll be the sweaty guy two lawns down, working on my fourth tasty Bud Light. Cheers.

One can appreciate good beer and otherwise, not be a snob. I drive a Dodge and enjoy a good beer. Personally, I'd rather just drink less of the good stuff, and completely avoid anything with "Light or Lite" in its name.

The cheap, domestic light beers are essentially a watered down alcohol conduit with no taste.

"Personally, I'd rather just drink less of the good stuff"

KB -

One beerman's good stuff is another beerman's swill.

Unconvinced? We'll try another invitation. We'll drive our Dodges to an agreed location, where you will consume nine pints of Bodingtons, and I will have a twelver of Bud Light. Early the next morning (say elevenish or whenever we're released from jail), we'll face a painted cinderblock wall, side-by-side, and exhale onto the wall. The breath that melts the paint quicker will be evidence of the nastier beer. What say you?

I also drive a Dodge! But I still appreciate good beer and don't think bad beer (like Bud Lite) is worth wasting my money on.

Savory...your comments are ridiculous and indicative of someone who doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. Whoa...you mow your lawn in hot weather! How manly you are! Would you like an award?

While I believe you should just drink water rather than waste your hard earned money on cheap crap, I also believe that if you want to drink Bud, that's entirely your decision and I won't fault you for it. But don't try to prove that you're somehow better or more manly than I am you are because you chose to drink beer that's more associated with "manly things" such as the working class, rednecks, and wife beating.

N3-

I have reviewed my posts and they are, just as you said, chock full of vitriol and self-aggrandizement. Yours, on the other hand, is remarkably astute in that it links my taste in beer to my wife-beating practices.

Does the imported beer help with your anger issues?

It looks like you've entirely forgotten that this column is called "Ad Report Card", an evaluation of different ads on TV and not "Beer Report Card". The purpose of the column isn't to evaluate beers or how to best judge beers. It's about whether the commercial makes sense and entertains.

I never said I drink only imported beer. I said I drink GOOD beer. "American" and "Good" are not mutually exclusive.

And, it's a terrible commerical anyway...much like most other commercials that somehow see the light of day lately. When I see/hear most commercials now, I can't help but wonder either a) what the hell the company was thinking, or b) how many people have lost their jobs in the advertising industry because the crap they put out is worse than a can of warm Budweiser. There, I summed up the state of advertising for you, no need for further discussion.

So really, it's much more interesting and fun to have a pissing contest about which beer is better.

I disagree that it's more fun and interesting to have a discussion on what beers are better than others. That's a topic I've heard debated for a long time. You might find the commercial analysis more interesting if you look at all of the ad report card articles (just search it on slate). I usually find them funny.

As for beer, I do think the commercials work, however stupid the pretenses are. For example, I was just in the Bahamas, sitting at a beach shack and the first beer I thought to order was Corona. If I was at the Astoria Beer Garden, I probably would have chosen something Czech or at least European. The commercials make me associate the atmosphere with what beer goes best.

"So really, it's much more interesting and fun to have a pissing contest about which beer is better."

Now there is a comment that is drenched in the realities of the subject at hand.

You drink your swill, I'll drink my swill, and the wine-heads will think we're both uncouth anyhow. Cheers!!

As someone that appreciates good beer, I would rather drink water, iced tea, or soda than a cheap, light beer. If my goal is to simply get drunk, there are more efficient avenues than Bud Light

I'm also a big fan of good steak. I'd rather just eat a hamburger than get a nasty sirloin at Ponderosa.

I have to confess that it is always a damn fine experience to travel on business to a new town and find a brew-bar there. They exist in some of the most unlikely places (Aiken SC and Davis WV come immediately to mind), and the beer is always incredibly fresh, teeth-shatteringly cold, and strong as death. Somehow, I always end up staying too long at these places and weaving on foot back to my hotel, but I haven't regretted it yet.

Closet beer snob? No way. I'd rather they served Bud Light. But any port(er) in a storm.

The article was about beer advertising. In beer advertising, I would venture to say, that yes, calories are a factor. Ad campaigns that pitch ANYTHING as having fewer calories are a good idea- this entire country is obsessed with dieting. Furthermore, for many people, there are different situations where you drink different beers. Perhaps if you are at a quiet pub that specializes in craft microbrews, you will pay more attention to the quality of your beer. But perhaps if you're looking to get drunk in the middle of bathing suit season, you may be more apt to think about calories. It depends what kind of situation the advertisers of targeting. Also as a women, who happens to enjoy delicious quality beers, I still think about the calories- it is ingrained in us since birth that you have to feel guilty about consuming anything that isn't "light." If beer companies want to sell to women, then that's something they have to consider. In fact, I think I remember from the history channel that the original light beer, was in fact, an attempt to market to women.

Plus, wasn't the article about Amstel LIGHT? if so then yeah, it's marketing a LIGHT beer, so calories would definitely be something to bring up.