Have a good weekend, folks. Just to head home on a lighthearted note, I found these Norse pagan lightbulb jokes on beliefnet. Lots more to find there from all over the theological spectrum, I'm sure.
Heathen Lightbulb Jokes
How many Reconstructionist Heathens does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- None; if our ancestors managed without lightbulbs, so can we !
How many Fundamentalist Heathens does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- None; the light from the burning monastery is enough, thank you.
How many Scandinavian Heathens ?
- About a dozen. One holds the lightbulb and the others drink enough to make the room spin.
How many Lokeans ?
- Think twice. Do you really want a Lokean to handle your electricity ?
Well, how many Lokeans ?
- *answer is lost in the wailing of the firetruck siren*
How many Theodish ?
- The whole tribe, but the performance will be lead according to custom by the Heogh Beolb Changere.
How many Folkish ?
- Just one, but it takes a while to find one with pure enough ancestry to be worthy to touch the lightbulb.
How many Universalists ?
- Lots. Each has got a differently sized bulb, and tries to make it fit.
How many Organized Heathens ?
- Seven. One to hold the Hammer Ritual and hallow the four walls, one to sing a galdr with Kenaz, one to perform Seidh on behalf of the deceased bulb´s spirit, one to write the newsletter report, and three to go off and found their own way of light-bulb changing.
How many Vanatru does it take to screw in a light-bulb ?
- "Screw is such a base word for Sacred Sexuality..."
How many Lore-Cracks ?
- Well, since Snorri didn´t mention lightbulbs, none were excavated and there´s no Old Norse word for it, I´m afraid we cannot say for certain whether lightbulb changing was an integral part of our ancestors´ faith.
How many Modernist Heathens ?
- I don´t know. Let´s call the electrician.
How many Homesteading Heathens ?
- "Now lightbulbs, you gotta plant them in spring..."
How many Odinists ?
- None. The death of the lightbulb is part of Odin´s plan for humankind. It will return from Hel after Ragnarok.
How many Soulmatrix Workers ?
- Just one. As the old lightbulb´s litr and önd seem to have gone out in a flash of odhr, he invokes the bulb´s disir and invites its fylga to settle into the new bulb according to wyrd, hopefully with better hamingja next time.
How many Seidhworkers ?
- A chorus of nine is chanting, while the Seidhworker accompanies the late bulb´s spirit to the Gate of Hel (hoping it will be reborn to its tribe later), then conveniently screws the new bulb in from his High Seat under the socket.
How many RuneVitkis ?
- One, but it´s really hard to scratch runes on the glass.
How many Christian-Bashers ?
- Lightbulbs are the product of a Christian culture. Good riddance !
