I wonder if the respose from Prudie (as well as many judgemental people on these boards) would have been different if the first letter was about a woman whose son was 'going out with the guys' and leaving the kids at home. Would he have been a slutty tramp too?

A woman in her thirties should be able to do whatever she damn well pleases as long as she isn't breaking the law (there's no evidence that she's doing that whatsoever) and her kids are safe. There was also no evidence that this woman has marital issues, or any issues except maybe a lack of manners, and it's frighteningly judgemental to imply that she does (using words like 'trampy' kind of do it).

My mother would leave me with a nanny (or even an eager, loving grandparent) and go out and on vacations every now and then when I was a kid and I quickly learned that mommy loved me very much (we had plenty of "comfort and stability"), but, crazy as it sounds, she loved herself, too. People need to stop expecting women to be martyrs for their children.

*CHEERS* Yep! I remember my mom sending me to stay with family and friends while she took a vacation. I remember getting to take vacations with other people while she stayed home.

My 7 year old will be going to Grandma's on her own for about a month this year, because Grandma now lives very far away and my extracurricular duties (Student Government at College) prevent me from joining. I have no problems with it, though Grandma already knows her phone's going to ring a lot haha.

Wow, that was a HUGE leap on that one!

Okay, so this woman's daughter was thoughtless to just assume that her mom would watch the kids without asking or framing the visit that way. But having some hijinks without the kids for a couple of evenings while she's out of town and on vacation hardly puts her in "When a Man Loves a Woman" territory! What the heck was THAT about? The reply was as if the mom listed 47 DUIs and 10 lost jobs due to absenteeism and on-the-job drinking or something.

Her kid is thoughtless and rude. Her kid takes advantage of her. Her kid probably got embarassed and then defensive that her mom called her on it, finally. But the rest of that big steaming pile of hot mess is just that. Hooey.

Without more evidence, anyway.

He would be a dick.

Hey,

I resemble that remark....

richard noggin:

Hey,

I resemble that remark....

Yes, & you do very well too. ;)

Absolutely. There's no way to tell if that mother has marital, alcohol, or any other kind of issues, other than being rude. Sometimes mothers go out. And getting drunk is NOT against the law. It's okay for a mother to take a night off. I can see why "grandma" would want to to stay in a hotel (to avoid being drunk around the children, etc.). But even that's a little extreme. As a single mother, I do go out at different times in my life (with married mothers! Shock!) and have a good time. As long as our children are safe with people we trust, what is the harm?

I agree. It was rude of the daughter to invite a friend along without asking, and rude to dump the kids on the grandmother like she's a free drop-in daycare service, and rude to barely seed the grandmother during the "visit," but a grown woman going out drinking isn't necessarily "slutty" or "trampy," and there's nothing in the story to indicate any kind of alcohol abuse or marriage problems.

If she was doing this every weekend to the neglect of her children and husband, that's another story. But the LW seems to indicate that this was a first-time thing, and the next planned excursion is several months away.

News flash: once in a while, even moms of young kids like to enjoy themselves with friends! Shock! Horror!

dumb_blonde:

richard noggin:

Hey,

I resemble that remark....

Yes, & you do very well too. ;)

Ew. Why don't you two get a room? And be sure to post pics on the internet so we can all aknowledge and celebrate your...whatever it is.

I agree rinkrat. The daughter was rude to her mother, but going out and having a good time doesn't make her a slut. It makes her selfish, but being a parent can do that to some people. Not me, of course. But I've heard stories.

Sounds as if we have a little bit of generational difference her. Prudie and the LW are from a dusty bygone day that simply wouldn't abide such behavior.

Still, the daughter would do well to spend some time with her mother one evening and go out the other. It's true. Her mom is not a fucking babysitting service so she can party like it's 1999 or whatever.

Spend some time with your mother, young lady! What's the matter with you anyway? Don't you know she'll be dead one day and all the stuff you inherit from her won't fill the void of her absence. I mean, unless it's a serious butt load of cash allowing you and your friend to slut out on a ten day cruise while some anonymous nanny or whatever watching your child.

tsk tsk

<link>

Sometimes a dick is a good thing.