I am a very successful single mother. My daughter graduated from a great college last June and my son from high school in one of the most expensive and beautiful cities in the world. My kids are happy and much better adjusted than many of their peers. Many of their friends from very successful two parent families were very depressed. Some suicidal. In fact, the kids that did commit suicide were from two parent families. What this article does not cover is the reason many women in particular decide it is better to raise children on their own. I am not saying women are perfect. Many are not. However, women's problems usually originate with the men in their lives. Men are usually the abusive partner. Men rape,cheat,molest, abuse and exploit at a much higher rate than women. In our case, it was better that I raised the kids alone. If my kids had been exposed to Dad, they would have grown up around alcohol and drugs and would have had to suffer the fallout. He also had no control over his spending. To this day my credit suffers from his childish spending sprees. Why, you may ask would I choose to have a child with someone like that? Because most of the men around are like that. This is not the exception, this is status quo! I don't know any men that don't have these kind of fatal flaws. A lot have anger control problems or are too controlling in general. I am not talking about some low income, low class uneducated scumbags. The men I have dated have been from good families and are relatively successful. Most of their problems have stemmed from identity crisises and insecurity that has lead to drug and alcohol use. In the fifties some women and children might be subjected to an alcoholic parent. Now, they are subjected to any number of substances of abuse. I picked up my son from his fathers house one time and as soon as he got in the car he burst into tears because his father ranted at him for hours high on cocaine. This is what is really lacking in this article and why it is so poorly researched. Bottom line, I think that other than economic reasons, the only reason my kids needed a father is to tell other kids that they have one. I think it also bothered them to see how much harder mom had to work. However, if you asked either of my kids now that they are grown which one of their parents really and truly cares about them they would say me, their mother. Neither child ever wanted to live with Dad because they knew that he did not have their interest at heart. The only reason that he ever visitied with them was so that he wouldn't have to pay as much child support. I am not opposed to marriage among people who are truly dedicated to each other and their kids. But the amount of decent partners out there is pretty scarce. I looked for years and never found one until age 40. Should I have not had kids because of it? No. I am an excellent mother and I deserved to have kids. I did not want to have them at 40. If it were up to me, their father would have nothing to do with them. Is he a total scumbag? No. He has a rich daddy and you would never know that he ever had a problem financially or otherwise. If you met him today you would think, "What a swell guy". But do I want to subject my kids to him? No. Some people therorize that humans were supposed to be like bears and just mate and separate. The female raises the cubs. I think in most cases this is true of humans. I think that the reason why we are seeing so many women and children murdered by the Dad is that they can never live up to the T.V. standard of what is expected of them.Television is a double edged sword.It can do a lot of good and has been the number one reason that women no longer take crap off of men. But television glorifies marriage and childbirth and pregnacy. You can't even turn on the TV these days without watching some dumb cow with her legs spread giving birth on national TV. How sick! We need to stop idealizing it! People don't even know why they do the things they do. All of our ethics were handed down by men like Cesar Augustus and Emporer Justinian. Look it up! More rules made by men to control women. Look at the Arabs and how they use religion to control their women. Religion is all about controlling women. Many women would not have anything to do with men if it were not for socioeconomic reasons and public perception. A woman feels like she's no one without a husband and kids. Relatives hound her about getting married and having babies. That is why we have global warming and our natural resources are being used up. Overpopulation. A married couple producing more than two offspring is a much larger threat to society than single mothers. The best thing that can be done for single mothers is education. If the mother is educated and can make a decent living her kids will do just fine. The court systems are getting better about custody and child support issues. Genetics testing can provide proof of paternity. It's just as good as being married with regards to the court system now. It protects the kids instead of protecting the person with the most money to pay lawyers. When my kids were little, I had to turn down better paying jobs in less expensive areas because I was not allowed to move out of a 50 mile radius from where I lived because of a stupid rule made by a stupid man. Talk about violating a person's civil rights! A mother should be able to go wherever she can to secure a future for herself and her kids.She has just as much right to do so as a man. More, if you count points for bad behavior. We need to look at marriage as a legal partnership, nothing more. The rest is what you bring to it. We need to stop glorifiying it on TV and quit hounding our kids to get married and procreate. Stop pointing fingers at women. We have been controlled for thousands of years. Maybe if good women are left to raise their kids in peacewe can raise our sons to be nice people.
